Emotions and Feelings. Nice to meet you!

So I thought about starting my first post with a story because well…I love to write.

But instead, I’m going to start with some education because I think this topic is so important. Especially for neurodivergent children, who often have more intense emotions and feelings than their neurotypical counterparts.

One of my favorite activities for kids is asking them to name, draw, and create a story around one or each of their feelings. It’s so much fun and it helps children get to know their feelings (maybe I’ll make a post on this later…intrusive side thought hehe).

Anyway, what is a feeling? What is an emotion? You may be thinking. Those are the same thing, obviously. But did you know? They actually are not the same thing. We just use them interchangeably. Even I do it. I mean look at my blog title, just as an example. But they are actually very different.

No need to feel embarrassed, if you did not know this because I did not always know this either. I, like many of you, figured emotion is just another term for feeling, until I received education on this very topic.

I was amazed! Understanding the different definitions helped me understand feeling expression so much better. So naturally, I was instantly excited to share this with others. Making this very moment, wonderful!!! You should always do your own research, of course, but my hope is that this post will help you understand this topic better.

So…let’s get to the definitions.

Emotions stem from physiological sensations or responses that are involuntary. Involuntary, meaning you can’t control them. These sensations just pop in like they are your best friend. So for example, a racing heart, tapered or rapid breathing, a knot in your tummy, butterflies in your stomach, saliva pooling in your mouth, an overwhelming rush from the bottom of your feet to your chest. All of these involuntary and sometimes unwelcomed sensations are in fact emotions. They are how our bodies respond to our current environment (Allyn, 2022; Counseling Center Group, 2024; Better Help, 2025).

So now this is where things get a little tricky but super cool and helpful.

Feelings are how we experience or interpret our emotions. Think of these as the "kind of" voluntary ones. We have some control over them, but not completely. Basically, feelings are the way in which we think about the sensations we are experiencing. We often think about these sensations based on our personal beliefs and past experiences (Allyn, 2022; Counseling Center Group, 2024; Better Help, 2025). So… in a nut shell, feelings give our emotions meaning. And that meaning can be different for everyone. For example, if a person's heart races and his/her stomach knots, he/she might interpret that as the feeling of anxiety while, someone else with those same sensations could interpret those sensations as excitement.

Okay, so now here's a mini story, because a story always makes things better. In my opinion, of course. And…I think it will be fun.

Let’s pretend a shy little girl, with shimmering red curls named Sally Mae, is beginning preschool for the very first time. Sally Mae and her Momma, walk hand in hand through a narrow, painfully bright hall. They quickly arrive at the freshly decorated entrance of a large, oversized classroom. The room’s white walls are covered in colorful papers and the cluttered space is packed full of bubbly kids. Unfamiliar smells, unwelcomed sounds, and unexpected chills twist their way around little Sally Mae’s body, causing a sinking feeling in her belly. Sally Mae’s Momma squeezes her little hand and leads her to her teacher. The teacher happily squeals with excitement and says, “Hello! What’s your name?!” After chirpily introducing herself, as Mrs. Crumbs (Mrs. Crumbs would be a cool teacher to have, right?). Mrs. Crumbs patiently waits for Sally Mae’s reply. Sally Mae says nothing and instead, scans the room around her. Her body is now rippling in various sensations. A little boy hollers to another classmate, a little girl accidentally knocks over a blue bucket of Legos and a salad of chatter smothers the entire area in an unbearable volume. The noise intensifies. Sally Mae quickly cups her ears with her sweaty palms and squints her eyes tight shut. Her heart sprints and her breathing becomes shallow and bumpy. Sally Mae is experiencing a slew of emotions right now.

Before a thought even enters that little girls mind, an emotion has involuntarily taken control.

And then she thinks about the sensations she’s having and within a small hiccup of time, she’s now feeling very anxious. Anxious her mother is going to leave her all alone, anxious about all the noise, anxious about the lights that make her head hurt, anxious about the papered walls of chaos that shuffle her breath into pieces and most of all, anxious about the kids she doesn’t understand. She bursts into a puddle of tears. Overwhelmed by intense emotions and feelings, she clings to her mother, refusing to speak to the teacher and unwilling to let go of her safe person. Her momma.

Sweet Sally Mae is now wrapped up in a clump of emotions and feelings she can’t seem to escape, quickly causing the first day of school to turn into a horrible nightmare.

Obviously, emotions and feelings happen much quicker than my example story here, but you get the point.

This story probably sounds familiar to a lot of you. Even if you can’t relate to this yourself, and if your child has never been shy and isn't neurodivergent, I’m guessing you’ve met a child with an experience like this. You may have seen or have a friend whose child hated his/her first day of school because of similar emotions and feelings.

For me, I was very much like Sally Mae, as a child. Learning the difference between emotions and feelings, helped me understand my, once, little mind and my children’s little minds much better. I hope that this post brings you a bit of education, a dab of encouragement, a scoop of excitement and a heaping bucket of understanding. After all, our little minds have a lot of big feelings (and emotions hehe) so why not try to understand them first.

Until next time,

Christina

After thought of the post (You know, instead of thought of the day or p.s. Hehe):

"God perfectly planned our creation: emotions, feelings and all."

***Even though I am an independently licensed social worker, none of the information provided to you in this blog, within my books or on my website is professional advice, diagnosis or treatment of any kind. These posts are strictly providing general information/education and are not substitutes for professional help. If you find yourself concerned about you or your child's mental health, please don't hesitate to reach out to a qualified mental health provider. All views expressed in this blog are personal and not representative of the social work profession.***

References:

Allyn, R. (2022, February 23). The Important Difference Between Emotions and Feelings: Understanding this distinction is crucial to healthy coping. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-pleasure-is-all-yours/202202/the-important-difference-between-emotions-and-feelings

Better Help. (2025, August 5). Is There A Difference Between Feelings and Emotions? https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/general/feelings-vs-emotions-is-there-a-difference-between-them/

Counseling Center Group.(2024). Emotion Regulation, Personal Growth Navigating Feelings Vs. Emotions: A Therapy Guide. Counseling Center Group. https://counselingcentergroup.com/navigating-feelings-vs-emotions/

All written content @2025 by Christina Retherford. All rights reserved. Graphics created using Wix media.